My brother joined Quixtar sometime in 2012 and didn’t really get into it until after his first function (which he kept raving about). When he moved in with me in 2013, he kept going on and on about the Business. I went to an “open meeting” just to humor him and was not impressed. Nevertheless, after a while, I was still curious about what he was so excited about, and so listened to the CDs and read the books. I especially ate up the books because I love reading, and self-help books appeal to me. This really impressed my brother, who wasn’t reading the books quite as fast as I. Slowly, I became indoctrinated by the CDs that my brother would always make me listen to when I rode with him in his car, and so I decided to give it a second try at another open meeting. I think the CD that most influenced me to join my brother was the Jackie Baker CD (I think it was titled “Product of Your Environment”)in which she saw her husband’s determination to go Diamond and decided to support him even though she wasn’t sure what the business was all about. Oh, and the CDs also talked about going on faith a lot of the time, which I’m sure had to do with a lot of it. In the same way as Jake Baker, my brother is a very goal-oriented guy. I’m very close to him and wanted to be a supportive sister, so I jumped on board, as much as I didn’t like the pyramidal business model. Well, 3 months pass, during which I attend one function and came away very unimpressed. THIS is what every IBO keeps ranting and raving about? What a stupid way to do business. But I shut up and pretended to be really enthused. Pretending led to reality, and I really did get into the business. I was sort of fanatical about it, even more so than my brother. Actually, I attribute my enthusiasm during my time as an IBO to being able to extract my brother from the Q cult.
Then one day, my inner voice screamed at me to go back and take a look at the research. After going to my first open meeting, I had already done my research, but found it inconclusive, since both sides seemed biased. I didn’t know who to believe. And, during my second meeting the presenter gave the analogy of the gym membership: “If you pay for a gym membership and don’t lose weight, whose fault is it? Yours, of course. Well, the business works the same way. Anyone who speaks negatively about the business is a quitter and a sore loser, and aren’t worth listening to.” So that disclaimer effectively shut off my doubts, at least for the moment. Thank goodness some of my prospects decided to question me with research they found had. At the time, I thought, how dare they waste my time when all I’m trying to do is help them?? But it was they who helped me: in my attempt to do damage control, I went online to take a look at the negative things that the “sore losers” were saying that were hurting my efforts to build my business. What I found planted seeds of doubt in my mind, so I asked my upline and mentor what to do. He responded, “well, take a look at the team. Take a look at our character. Ask yourself, are we the kind of people who would do all these things? Anytime you have doubts, just remember the kind of company you are in”. My mentor was right: I did think that my team had wonderful, lovable, genuinely good people.
Again, my doubts again were put to rest. The third time I questioned the business was when I considered introducing it to this lady who was truly struggling financially. She was really in dire straits and I cared about her very much. I really wanted to make sure that this business would work for her -it was really expensive doing those 250 PV and getting the tools each month!! I didn’t know how she would afford it. So I did more research, and again, had more doubts that were put to rest by my mentor. Thankfully, I never did get to meet with her to show her “the plan”.
Finally, one day, as I was set to go out and do my 35 prospects for the week, as promised to my mentor, I genuinely felt in my heart that something was not right. It was then that I read Merchants of Deception and was shocked to see that everything in my organization: the phrases, the mannerisms, mentality, everything in his organization was EXACTLY duplicated in mine! Afterwards, I knew I couldn’t do the business anymore. I must note that my parents were against mine and my brother’s involvement this whole time. I once put in a CD for my dad to listen to, and jokingly told him, “Dad, please, no criticisms, let me get brainwashed! I need to get brainwashed for the day.” My dad is so great, he didnt’ go on in his usual trashing of the business, he just looked at me and said, “I know you are a strong girl. You are my smart daughter, I have faith in you. I know that you will make the right decisions.” I really think this helped me leave. My dad had been exposed to Amway before, my brother and I both knew how much he was against it, and yet, he told me that he had faith in me to do the right thing, and that I am strong enough to do it! Unconditional love is so wonderful -thank you Dad! 🙂
So now, onto how I extracted my brother. I’m going to give you a lot of background detail, because I think it’s important. First, I did some dream-building. Yes, those dreambuilding techniques they teach in the business DO really work! Except that I had been using them long before I joined the Q cult. So I put up a list of goals, one of which was to successfully extract my brother from the Business. In addition, I did daily visualizations of what life would be like after my brother left the Business. I have to add that my brother really looks up to me and has a deep respect for me. He was really happy when I joined, and I knew that after I left, his morale crumbled slightly, because he believed I was going to be his “taproot”, his platinum leg that would propel him towards Diamond. And all of a sudden, his sole leg and right-hand leaves. I started questioning him:
“Knowing me, knowing how enthused I was about the business, why would I leave all of a sudden”? He knows my character, that I’m not a quitter and that I do things to completion. I brought all of this up in an email I wrote him. I told him that there has to be something really significant if I would abandon such a great multi-million dollar business opportunity. I mentioned all the things I loved about the business: the people, the dream-building techniques, the fact that it made people more accountable to their word. I highlighted the positive things and hinted that there was something deeper going on that was more negative. (I’ll post up the actual emails at a later time.) I slowly eased into reasons why I left. Then, I emailed him Merchants of Deception. After he had read it, I emailed some more materials. I slowly fed him the truth. Even so, he attended a function afterwards, because he had to know for sure. Later, he told me the book opened his eyes going into the function. The one turning point that really ended it for him was when Larry Winters came onstage and repeated something that my brother had remembered from Merchants of Deception that had come out of Dexter Yager’s mouth. My brother was so offended, he couldn’t believe it. He then found out that Larry Winters was directly mentored by Dexter Yager -and that pretty much ended it for him.
So in summary, I believe I had some credibility with my brother because of several factors:
-I was a very enthusiastic, fanatical IBO! -Unlike my brother, during the one function I attended, I participated in badgering the Diamonds, Emeralds, and high pins until the early morning hours, after the events had ended for the night. In other words, I showed more dedication
-Before the business, my brother knew that I had already been practicing the dreambuilding techniques, with good results -Prior to the business, I was already a person who liked to talk to people and strangers, making friends with whoever I happened to meet (which was why he thought I was born for the business in the first place) -My brother had very high respect for me, and knew me to be a person who perseveres, and isn’t a quitter.
-I found positive things to say about the business, even when I was saying them as a means to get him out of it.